Fixing Baseball


These three letters make me think of three things. Scarily high obesity rates, hostile takeovers of South American governments, and good ol baseball.

The game that is supposed to be America’s pastime has been thrown for a loop these past couple of years. After years of declining viewership and a 60 game covid season, Major League Baseball gave us a season to remember last year. Finally, we were seeing some growth, but then Rob Manfred remembered that stick up his ass was still there, and after one of the most electric baseball seasons in a while (Thank you Shotime) we had 99 days of no baseball during what was supposed to be peak free agency.

Thankfully, the players had some good demands they refused to compromise on, and some positive changes will be implemented to the game we love. Here are some things I am glad are changing, and some things I think need to change to grow the game.


I hate the shift. It’s stupid and results in fewer base hits, which means fewer runs. A major complaint people have is that baseball is too boring, so why give the defense more advantages than it already has. They’re getting rid of it next season, but please please please do it now.


Again this is a stupid rule, and the MLB knows it. Why would they allow it for the regular season but not the playoffs if it was actually a good rule? It totally ruins the flow of the game and has let teams win games they should not have. It has also stolen money from me and I am sending you a bill for my losses Mr. Manfred.


I will give credit where credit is due. Universal DH is dope and will result in more dingers, which is all we simple-minded sports fans want. Bat go crack and ball go far. I love it. Also, the Shohei rule is sick because who doesn’t want to watch that beautiful man blow 102 MPH fastballs past the best hitters in the game, then smoke a ball 450 dead center.


Baseball is amazing because it is flawed. The human element from having people who make mistakes calling balls and strikes and outs and safe makes baseball beautiful. Who didn’t secretly love cursing the hell out of Joe West because you thought that slider kissed the edge of the plate and should have been a strike. Being able to debate the calls of umpires makes the game better, and if you want a robotic strike zone or base umpires, I don’t trust you and you should end up in Guantanamo Bay.


Swinging 3-0 in the count, pimping the shit out of the ball, the flipping ur bat higher than you get on those Thanksgiving “walks” with your cousins should never be criticized. This newer generation of players with attitudes like Tatis, Bryce Harper, and Manny Machado is good for the game. Yeah, sure it’s annoying when they talk shit to your pitcher after going yard, but how much better did it feel watching Manny Machado strikeout kneeling to lose the World Series in 2018 knowing how much of an asshole he is. Keep baseball fun and let the boys express themselves. Makes the losses sting more but the wins are so much sweeter.

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Written by Ben Mulry

Masshole. Division 1 (intramural) College Athlete. Correct Take Haver.

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