Football Is Back Which Means Football Fans Fighting Is Back

Getting hammered in the middle of the afternoon on a Sunday, eating wings and pizza until you feel like you’re about to explode, and watching 10 straight hours of football might be what everybody thinks of for football season. But the real MVP is watching idiots who have tailgated all day and are now drunk as fuck fighting in the stands. Baseball and basketball fans fighting are okay, but the best is watching grown men who think they are as strong and tough as the players they are watching throw haymakers at each other.

This fight has so many things happening. First of all, having people scream DJ Khaled at this man in the Aaron Donald jersey before he gets his ass kicked is hilarious. I wonder if when he was getting haymakers rained on him, he was screaming another one? Before the fists started to fly, Aaron Donald jersey pretended like he was jerking off to the row in front of him, throwing up random hand signs, and screaming all sorts of shit, but that wasn’t what caused the fight. It’s unclear how this fight started, but I know what the accelerator was. It wasn’t the man in the Aaron Donald jersey; it wasn’t the group of men who were throwing haymakers; it wasn’t the old man who was behind all of the chaos; it was this woman.

That large diet coke was the thing that started all of the chaos. Once that drink hit the Aaron Donald jersey, he thought he was Aaron Donald and tried to take on a triple team. The first move he tried was a backhand to the entire row in front of him like he was Ric Flair.

You can guess how well that landed. Haymakers followed from the row in front and the man while he was being pulled backward. Soon enough, the chance of getting a wild punch was enough, and instead of holding him back, he was being pulled forward. How did the man fall into the stand? Was it the row in front of him pulling him, did his drunken momentum make him fall, or was it this old man who had enough?

This old man just wanted to enjoy a pre-season game. Then before you knew it, he was involved in a donnybrook. This old man was literally kicking his ass. That wasn’t the only thing happening to this man’s ass. This guy decided to beat his ass like a drum. I don’t know if punching a grown man’s ass is the best tactic, but hey, get those punches in.

Sure the ass-kicking that the man in the Aaron Donald jersey got was the highlight of the video, but that wasn’t the old fight.

Yellow shirt man came from multiple rows down to hand out an ass-kicking. I truly don’t know how that fight started, but it looked like yellow shirt wanted in on the action, and black shirt was trying to hold him back. Well, the only answer is to start throwing haymakers. Typical big man fight where black shirt’s ass was hanging out. I respect that he tried to pull down his shirt to hide his plumber crack as he was getting his ass kicked. Back to Aaron Donald jersey, did his brilliant idea of taking on an entire row work for him?

His jersey is now gone, and he’s left with a bloody face. This didn’t stop him from talking more shit as he stumbled up the stairs, bloodied and bruised. From the looks of it, it looks like another old man was in the crossfires, and instead of kicking somebody’s ass, he just had drinks hit him.

P.S. Why would he break out into the take the L dance? We have a brawl happening, and some random dude decided that would be the perfect time to break out into a Fortnite dance.

P.P.S. Shoutout to the cameraman who shot this shit like it was a motion picture. There was no shaking; it was crystal clear; he knew exactly where to keep the camera. We saw all of the action.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sunday Scaries – Hangover Cures Pt. 2

Stories Of The Week