One of the best things about college is that everyone has a unique experience. One of the other best things about college is that if you’re a dude, there’s a few things that you’ll go through that every other borderline alcoholic with a Y chromosome also understands. Here’s four experiences that all guys will go through in college.
Getting Cut Off
Whether it’s at a bar or at a party, getting cut off is something that can and will happen to any guy who attends college in the United States. The conversation usually goes something like this:
Bartender: “You’re cut off.”
You: “Come on, man, just one more beer?”
Bartender: “Sorry, man. Can’t do it.”
You: *Calls him word I am not allowed to write in a blog*
After the conversation ends, you’ll have exactly two options: quietly leave the bar without causing an issue or get dragged out while screaming about your first amendment rights. The second option is always funnier.
Awkwardly Run Into a One Night Stand
You have friends in common, which is how this whole thing came to be, and when those people bump into each other in the library, you’re stuck making uncomfortable conversation, like, “How have your classes been going?” or “You should probably get tested.” Whatever you have to say to her, it won’t be the, “I’m sorry that I clogged your toilet early in the morning and left without saying a word before blocking you on all social media in hopes that no one would ever find out about this,” that she’s looking for.
Develop a Crippling Gambling Addiction
It starts out with, “I’m just going to capitalize on all of the free bets that these sports books are offering me,” and quickly turns into, “Hey mom, I had to spend more money on books this semester than I thought I would, could you float me a hundred dollars to keep the lights on?”
Apologize to a Group of People for Using a 2013 Word
For some reason, “I don’t even remember saying it,” isn’t an excuse for poor behavior after a long night of drinking. You blacked out, used a word that you learned in seventh grade and keep saying you’re going to ditch from your vocabulary, and now you have to write several different apology texts to the people who were offended by your intoxicated and politically incorrect outburst.