Fuck The Poor, Fuck The Kids, Good Girl Lulu Will Get The $5 Million Inheritance

Bill Dorris, a businessman from Tennesse, died earlier in February. Instead of giving his money to family or a big charity, Nah fuck that he gave 5 million dollars to his border collie named Lulu. I don’t know the details of this man’s will or his family, but I know that it mentions that he had family in all of the articles I read, but it never said if he left them money.

I saw people online be pissed off that a rich man is wasting his money on a dog instead of giving it to a charity. I mean, it’s his money, and he can do with it whatever he wants. I’ve had dogs my entire life, and they have helped me through some of the hardest times in my life. Not by doing anything or saying anything, but just for being there to lay on when I held back tears and to listen to me bitch about the world. When I first dropped out of college and had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I got home, put some sad boy music on, and just rested my head against my chocolate lab’s head. So I understand if this man wanted to give his money to his dog. He probably could’ve helped some people, but fuck that Lulu needs a new Lambogorni.

By doing some digging into Bill Dorris I found out that he might be the baddest ass man known to mankind. I found some stories that people left on his obituary page.

This man was doing make a wish before make a wish was even a thing. One of the biggest superstars in history just went to a birthday party, all because Dorris asked him to. If that’s not badass, I don’t know what is. Then he would casually have lunch with Little Richie. The man who bent the blues’ rules and created some of the most influential rock n roll albums was casually eating a turkey sandwich with Dorris.

It’s not like Lulu the border collie is just walking in the bank to withdraw her $5 million. Dorris created a trust for Lulu, and had his friend Martha Burton who had been watching Lulu for the last couple of years since Dorris has been sick will be in charge of the $5 million that is to be used to care for Lulu. When asked about the trust Burton said.

“I don’t really know what to think about it, to tell you the truth,” Burton told WTVF. “He just really loved the dog.” Lulu is “a good girl,” Burton told the TV station.


I would say she was a good girl. This isn’t the first time that a rich person has left a huge inheritance to a dog.  Hotelier Leona Helmsley left $12 million to her dogs after she died in 2007. Businesswoman Muriel Siebert left $100,000 to her Chihuahua named Monster Girl. And actress Lauren Bacall left $10,000 for the care of her dog. You name your dog Monster Girl. That dog probably doesn’t deserve anything.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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