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Fuck The XBOX Servers

Today season 2 of Warzone dropped. Since I’m a bum and can’t work, I wanted to grind some serious XBOX today. I watched some NBA and NHL highlights this morning, and then this afternoon, I fired up the good ole XBOX. I have automatic downloads on, so I clicked on Warzone and dealt with a cut scene that I could give 0 shits about. Finally, I get to the Warzone page and click on the new zombies. It brings me to a screen that says I need to purchase something. Being the cheap bastard I am, I was instantly pissed, but I quickly realized it was free. This is where the shit hit the fan.

It kept telling me that I had the game, and I just needed to go to my library, and I would be able to play. Well, I went to my library and nothing. I did a quick google search and saw that people said they needed to turn their XBOX offline. I did this and then tried to sign back in. My XBOX kept telling me that I was online and that everything was good, but I couldn’t sign into XBOX live. After trying to figure this out on my own and getting more pissed, I went to XBOX lives support.

This is what I was greeted with

This is all because little 12-year-old cunts who should be at school are instead “learning remotely,” aka just playing video games, and they’re crashing the entire XBOX network. What happened to the good ole days where you could open a case, put the disc in, and play the game right away? Not anymore, now everything has 10,000 updates, and everything has to be downloaded. It’s all a scam where the game is getting rich from people needing the newest and greatest thing. And the consoles are making people buy more memory. You need multiple terabytes of storage to have 10 games to play. No longer can you have 10GB and have dozens of games stacked around your tv.

Alright, the older man yelling at the clouds rant is now over. I hope that XBOX gets their shit together. I want to waste away hours while shooting at zombies.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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