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Getting the Most Out of Your Summer

1. Take off work for Memorial Day Weekend and July 4th

Going to the Jersey shore for Memorial Day Weekend is easily one of the highlights of my summer every year. Getting drunk on my friend’s roof while his parents pretend they don’t know what’s going on is a time honored tradition at this point, so you better believe one of the first things I did when I went back to selling medical marijuana for the summer was take off for this upcoming weekend. You should do the same if you haven’t already because Memorial Day and July 4th are the two times of the summer when everyone is guaranteed to be ready to get rowdy, so whether it’s going down the shore, heading up to the mountains, or some kind of festival in your town, it’s essential you make sure you’re not working for those holidays.

2. Plan some kind of trip with your boys

For my friends and me, this trip is looking like it’s going to be a few days at Knoebels (an amusement park a couple hours away) because we’re all relatively poor, and they charge something like $17 a night if you get the right number of people. If you’ve got more funds, then make your trip better, but it’s important to make sure that there are a few days set aside at some point in your summer that you’re out of your house and with the fellas from home. There are tons of options, so don’t be a pussy and say that you couldn’t think of anything to do. Even if it’s two days in an Airbnb in the middle of nowhere, you’ll be glad you did it when you get back to school and aren’t able to see those guys too often.

3. If you’re not already dating someone, don’t start now

Look, we all want a girlfriend, and those of us that say that we’d rather be single for now are just lying. But here’s the thing: getting a girlfriend in the middle of the summer is a mistake. Any money that you’ve made automatically goes into that, you miss out on time with the fellas, and you have the whole school year to work on that. Now granted, this is coming from someone who hasn’t had to turn down a girl because he wants to keep the summer for himself, but all I’m really saying is that you don’t need to go looking for a girl right now. Your options will be a lot larger in number when you get back to school, so there’s no use in putting in the work just yet.

4. Sleep

I’m not saying to hibernate for three straight months, but the occasional sleep until three o’clock on your day off from work is never a bad idea. And if you don’t have anything to do, I really see no reason why you should be out of bed before eleven in the morning. It’s just disrespectful to the people that actually do have to get up and do things early. They don’t have a choice, but you do. So don’t be an asshole. Sleep in.

5. Go Skydiving

Alright. This one is, well, a very biased opinion. I stand by it, though. I went skydiving the summer after my senior year, and it was quite simply the only feeling I’ve ever had that I’d rather experience than sex. I’m going again this summer, and if you have a set of nuts on you, you should go too. Free falling from 13,500 feet at 120 miles per hour is fucking unreal, and if you’ve ever even considered doing it, this is a sign from God that you should follow up on that consideration. It’s about $200 to jump and more if you want a video, but it’s worth every single fucking penny.

I mean, just look at that happy asshole. Don’t you want to experience that?

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Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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