Malcolm Henry
That’s it. That’s the fucking post.
Not really.
It is spring break. We are in PCB; killing PBRs, and of course there are girls everywhere looking for any and all attention – or maybe just some free drinks, who the fuck cares — but when they want to hang out and earn the drinks, let them.
HOWEVER when they want to play volleyball carefully consider your answer. You don’t want to the be the dude that dips out but you also don’t want to be the guy that sucks and costs yourself an easy midday W.
The good news is that you have options.
Those options are only applicable if you are honest with yourself.
Do you suck at volleyball? If you are ready to say ‘Yes’ you are already one step ahead of so many of these other dipshits out here losing girls left and right.
First… own it. Don’t go out there silent and then suck. It is a bad look.
As soon as someone suggests volleyball, let it be known… YOU SUCK. It puts the bar low, which makes it a little easier to get over. It also allows you to be a little funny with it — but don’t be too much, that is just annoying, you still have to try — even if you suck.
Second… after making it known you suck, you have to shift your role in the group dynamic. Embrace your suck. Do not try too hard, just hit the balls that come to you. Do your best. Don’t be the guy diving all over the place and being a fucking idiot if you don’t have the skills for it. There will be someone on your team that can carry you — be his wingman.
Third… after you have shifted into wingman, be the best wingman you can be. It will make you look more fun and your boy will appreciate it.
Fourth… adjust your attention to the girl on your team that also is pretty terrible and make it a joke between the two of you. It is an easy flirt that can start to set you up for success.
Fifth… get the hell out of there as quickly as you think she will dip with you. You have done your best. You made your boy look his best. You got a girl interested in drinks and not having sand in her bra. Time to dip and put points on the board.
You’re welcome.
Photo by Michael Cox on Unsplash
