Dear Diary,
Today was rough. We lost Neville Longbottom to the Chamber of Sendys, an unfortunately common occurrence during Gryffindor pledgeship. Always referred to as “the bitch pledge”, Neville felt disrespected and wanted to prove his worth to the older brothers. So, like any irrational pledge, Neville tried to finish an entire handle of unicorn blood while sitting next to the giant snake in the Chamber of Sendys. Like the lightweight he is, Neville puked all over himself and the snake, which obviously didn’t end well for him.
This incident has left most of the pledges pretty shaken up. Ron nearly shit himself when he saw Neville’s body get rag-dolled by the snake, but that’s just what comes with pledging Gryffindor. I once heard that a Gryffindor pledge got forced to eat an entire box of Bertie Botts jelly beans, but one of the flavors was cyanide and he died immediately. The act of eating a whole box of jelly beans isn’t all that bad, but who the fuck would make a cyanide-flavored jelly bean?
I’ve got my first quidditch match tomorrow, but I’m not too nervous. We’re playing Hufflepuff, and to be frank they straight-up suck. I know Ron has his eyes on Hermione, but I can’t let him bag her that easily. I’m going to show out tomorrow and start my reign as the greatest pledge seeker in history, all while getting play at the same time. I’ll be sure to recap the match in my next entry, but for now, I have to go buy a magical Mr. Fog in Diagon Alley for one of the brothers.
Sincerely,
The Chosen Pledge
