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Harry Potter’s Pledge Diary

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Dear Diary, 

Pledging Gryffindor has been much more difficult than I could have ever imagined. Just last night, one of the sixth-years continuously punched me in the face until I gave him my cloak of invisibility so he could sneak into the female quarters (for god knows why). Needless to say, I spent all of this morning washing said cloak of invisibility. Hogwarts is rough. I’m failing almost every one of my classes, and that cheeky professor Snape has it out for me. Earlier this week, he convinced all of the Slytherin pledges to beat the shit out of me with their quidditch clubs, but I’m pretty much numb to any pain at this point. 

Ron – being a legacy – has had an even worse pledgeship than me so far. His own brothers forced him to sneak into headmaster Dumbledore’s office and steal his deluminator, which resulted in poor Ron not only almost getting expelled but also losing two fingers to the three-headed dog. After this horrific incident, I don’t think everyone in our pledge class is going to stay with Gryffindor. While there’s no shame in being a pledge in the lower-tier Hufflepuff, I owe it to myself to stick it through. Tonight, we have a lineup in the room of requirement, which is incredibly dodgy since we literally could be forced to do anything. My guess? One of the pledges will have to behead a giant snake immediately after chugging ten straight butterbeers. For now, I need to fly my pledge master over to class, but I’ll make sure to recap tonight’s lineup in my next entry. 

Sincerely, 

The Chosen Pledge

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