Having The Covid Vaccine Will Let You Fuck More On Dating Sites

Vaccination of senior person in hospital

Keywords like “covid vaccinated” and “fully vaccinated” have started dominating bios as Tinder reported a 258 per cent rise in users mentioning the word “vaccine” between September and December 2020. OKCupid, a dating app that matches members based on multiple-choice questions, notes a 137 per cent increase in mentions of the keyword between November 2020 and January 2021.


This should be the selling point for anybody to get the Covid vaccine. People who believe there’s going to be a tracking device inside the vaccine or that you’re going to grow a third arm will forget about that if they can actually get laid. I can only imagine that people who are afraid to go out to restaurants because of Covid haven’t fucked in over a year. You get that magical shot, and boom, guess who is back to sliding into the DM’s. If people have really gone a year without the random hookups, some freaky shit will happen the first time they’re with a real human being.

I mean, this is just a cruel new way to be rejected. Staring at your last 3 messages that still haven’t gotten a reply, being told she’s not that into you, and that she sees you more as a friend is stuff that people are used to. I don’t know how I would take getting I found somebody else who is fully vaccinated text. If she’s not willing to risk getting Covid, is she really that into you?

I saw some people asking if people were trying to look for 65-year-olds or people who are very unhealthy? The list of people who can get vaccinated is growing slowly every day, and hey, 65-year-olds probably have a lot of money to give you. I do know that you can lurk outside a Walgreens and hope and pray that somebody misses their appointment. I mean, people have done way crazier shit than wait outside a Walgreens for multiple hours for the possibility of having sex.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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