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Hot Takes: Zendaya, the Wave, Chapelle, Spider-Man, and the Beach

Zendaya is overrated

Is Zendaya hot? Yeah. Would I bone her? Yeah. But that’s about as far as I’m willing to go with it. I really don’t understand the absolute obsession with her that has put her on this insane pedestal over her contemporaries. She’s hot and she’s really talented too, don’t get me wrong, but I will never understand the hype. I think my opinion on Zendaya can best be summed up with this: when I watched her and Bella Thorne on Shake It Up, I was way more into Bella Thorne.

The wave does not belong at sporting events

I honestly can’t remember the last time I ever participated in a wave, and I could not be prouder of that fact. I feel like there’s no better way to show that you really just don’t care about whatever sports game you’re at than to stand up, put your arms in the air, and yell, “Woooooooh,” like a complete moron a couple times with other people in your section. Let’s keep the wave at cheerleading competitions and other non-sporting events (did you see I snuck in a little hot take right there?).

Dave Chapelle is hilarious, and he always will be

I’ve already gone to bat for Dave in a full blog form, but I just want to say that it truly saddens me that I have to consider this opinion a “hot take” at this point in time. People need to grow up and stop bitching about every little thing that bothers they/them.

Tom Holland is a better Spider-Man than Tobey Maguire

I’ve got nothing but respect for Tobey Maguire, and I think the genre of superhero movies owes a massive debt to the cinematic masterpiece that is Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2, but let’s be honest with each other here. Tom Holland is just a better Spider-Man. He looks the part of a teenager, he’s the perfect kind of cool dorky, and while he owes his run as Spider-Man to everything Tobey did, he’s just better at it.

The beach kind of blows

You have to put sunscreen on like every two hours, the sand gets all over you, the water is cold, and there’s a thousand people around you. I just don’t get what is so appealing about it. The worst part of it all, though, is that people will look at you like you’re insane for not wanting to get up at the ass-crack of dawn to spend your day reapplying sunscreen and listening to some cousin fucker blast bad country music all day. 

What do you think?

Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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