the godfather
I’m sure we’ve all seen those staged videos of guys “rizzing” smoking hot girls at the gym – but deep down we know that’s not how life actually works. Talking to women in any setting is a challenge for most of us, let alone in the gym where we can easily be pinned as a creep just by glancing in the wrong direction. However, there are ways to approach your gym crush in a manner that isn’t pervy, but rather quite charming. By the time you’ve finished reading this guide, you’ll have both the skills and confidence to finally turn your gym crush into your gym girlfriend.
Step 1: Wait until she’s in the middle of a set
This first step is crucial to the art of approaching women at the gym. Every woman I’ve ever met loves surprises almost as much as ABC’s The Bachelor – which is saying a lot. While you stare her down from across the gym, wait until she’s in the middle of a long working set to walk over to her. Once she’s locked into the exercise, she’ll be incredibly surprised by you attempting to start a conversation with her, which will surely make a wonderful first impression. Usually, leg press or bench press will work best for this set as both exercises require immense focus and effort.
Step 2: Initiate conversation with a strong compliment
No woman wants a shy and weak man. That’s why you need to start off your conversation with a bold compliment. And when I say bold, I mean a strong enough compliment that it could be considered borderline sexual harassment. Every girl has heard “Hey, what’s your name?”, but not many have been told “I would let you crush my head with those massive thighs” before. In my experience, this compliment will usually be enough for your gym crush to completely fall in love with you. However, there are some girls that will play a little bit harder to get, which is where step three comes into play.
Step 3: Read off her social security number from memory
If you want to settle down with a muscle mommy, you’ll need to demonstrate a high level of commitment. Nothing shows commitment more than reading off someone’s social security number straight from memory. Sure, this girl might be absolutely shocked that some random guy knows her personal information, but she isn’t just some random girl to you. She’s your future wife (even though she doesn’t know it yet). If someone I had never met before came up to me and read off my date of birth and driver’s license number, I’d give them just about anything they wanted. This is no different – which is why step three is so effective.
Step 4: Spot her for the rest of the workout
Once you’re done with step three, you’re basically dating your gym crush at that point. Since you’re now this girl’s boyfriend, it’s only right that you support her consistently. So, walk around with her for the rest of her workout and be a spotter for any and every exercise. You might think you’re being annoying and pesky, but she’ll really appreciate you spotting her even when she clearly doesn’t need it. If you want to go the extra mile, you can spot her on the Stairmaster by standing directly behind her to make sure she doesn’t fall off.
Step 5: Live happily ever after
You’ve shown that you’re a surprising, aggressive, committed, and supportive man all in a couple of hours at the gym. If that’s not husband material, I’m not sure what is. By following steps one through four perfectly, you’ve set yourself up nicely for step five. Get married, have kids, and settle down in a suburb of [insert major city here] with not just your gym crush or girlfriend, but your gym wife.
