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ADVICE FROM A GIRL ON HOW TO DM A GIRL

You bbs need this. 

Boys 

  1. DO NOT 

DO NOT dm “hey do I know you” or “my name is ____, who are you?” You’re on MY Instagram. Let’s not pretend to be cool. 

DO NOT keep messaging her if she doesn’t respond, that’s weird. 

If she hasn’t responded to your DM, you don’t have to give up. You can DM again. But keep in mind, you have a limited amount of messages before you become creepy. Be selective. Choose wisely.

DO NOT send her pictures of yourself shirtless or selfies (yes, this happens a lot). We’re on Instagram, I know what you look like.

DO NOT send boring compliments. You can say something like “wow you’re beautiful” but honestly, I wouldn’t. Girls get a lot of messages from thirsty guys and we need to set you apart from the rest. An aggressive compliment, especially if it’s about her body, can push her further away. Maybe some girls are into this, but personally, it’s a no from me dawg.

DO NOT have a weird profile. If your account is private and she doesn’t follow you, please consider your username and profile picture. If your avi is a picture of the Joker, please go to therapy. How is she supposed to respond to this random? If your account is public and you don’t know this girl very well, please consider your pictures. Is there a picture of you and another girl in every photo? Weird. Was the last photo you posted in eighth grade? Weird. Is there a bunch of douche pics? Weird. Make sure there is a good photo she could find of you. If you know the girl already, this isn’t important.

DO NOT get upset if she doesn’t respond. You will most likely get blocked.

2. DO

Message about her interests 

Say something clever and nice that could start a conversation. Wait for the right story to swipe up and go for it. I think it’s best to start the conversation off with a common interest. For example, on her story, she posts she is watching the office. Reply to her story with a quote or your favorite episode or character. You could also recommend a similar show you’d think she’d like. If she posts a song, reply with when that artist is playing a show in town. Ask her if she’d want to go! If she posts a picture of pizza, respond with your favorite pizza place in your city. Ask if you can buy her a pie.

Jokes 

Jokes are great – however – make sure girls think you’re funny first. For some odd reason, loud men think they’re hilarious. Being crude doesn’t mean you’re funny. Being clever though is amazing. If you’re sure you can make her laugh, go for it! But if your “joke” consists of talking about master-baiting, sex, politics, sexism, or anything about marriage/children, rethink this. It’s the first impression. It’s not in person. Your joke could come off wrong. Be careful!!

Careful with compliments

GIRLS ARE SENSITIVE! I don’t know when boys will understand this. Even if she seems super confident, she is also sensitive. Girls just are. Deal with it. Sensitive people will love you better than anyone else and make you feel special. So do the same to them in return. Your compliment can’t be “damn girl” or something boring. It also can’t be a backhanded compliment. For example, “wow I usually don’t like tall girls, but you’re hot” or “for a thick girl, you’re sexy.” You just took someone’s height or weight, something anyone could be insecure about and decided to use that as your opening line?? You could’ve said, “tall girls with a great sense of humor are my type, so I had to DM.” You could say “I like your style” or anything else! If your compliment could be taken badly, it most likely will be. Women deal with creepy, assholes 24/7. Survival of the fittest and our female intuition have our spidey senses tingling at all times. It may not be YOUR fault. But men, in general, have done creepy, unsettling things to every girl. So don’t be willy nilly with your compliments. Don’t try to act cooler than you are. You’re the one who DMed me.

Okay boys, get out there!!! You can do it!!! Proud of you!!

What do you think?

Written by Caroline Bano

Super boring girl with mediocre personality....but I'm hot. Read my blog. NYC.

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