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How to Get a Fake ID

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Having a fake ID is probably one of the most important preparations for college life. Period. But they don’t teach you about it in your last few weeks of high school, and they certainly don’t tell you how to do it during orientation freshman year. That’s okay, though, because Strokes is here to drop knowledge on you motherfuckers. 

First things first, you have to figure out where you’re getting your fake. This is probably the single most important step because you don’t want to end up sending eighty bucks to some random website and either never see the ID or have it be a piece of paper between two pieces of masking tape. The best thing to do is talk to upper classmen and find out who has the best ID of people that you know. If it’s had success and scans and they’re raving about it, find out what website they used and use that one.

Second, don’t fuck up your picture. Since you’re now confident that your ID is going to scan properly and it won’t be a flimsy piece of shit, the only thing that can fuck you over is a bad picture. Either get the newest iPhone you can find or a nice camera. Make sure the wall behind you is white and there are no shadows. Look right into that fucking camera. 

Now for your address. My best advice is to go on Zillow and find some foreclosed on crack-house in the state you picked. Another important thing to note, though. Whatever state you pick is fine, but it’s stupid to pick an ID from the state your actually from or the state that you go to school in. Whatever bouncer is looking at your ID has seen countless real IDs from the state you’re in, so they can usually spot a phony pretty easy.

Once you’ve locked all that in and made the order, you just have to sit and wait. When they arrive, use the fuck out of them, but try and find places that people say don’t look as hard at your ID. It’s also pretty wise to stick to using fakes at bars and relaxed beer distributors. Going to a liquor store is typically very risky, so my advice is to have someone who is of legal age on lock to actually buy your alcohol and stick to the bars with yours. When you do go to the bar, though, make sure you know your address, birthday, state capital, high school, year of high school and college graduation – pretty much all the information on the ID and information that you would know if it were a real one.

Other than that, there’s not much else to say. Get a bunch of people together so that the order is cheaper, and have a great time.

-Strokes

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Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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