If all of us could get straight A’s every semester with ease, why wouldn’t we? Not only would our parents be finally proud of us for once, but we’d also likely graduate with a pretty solid job. The only problem is that getting straight A’s isn’t easy at all. In fact, it’s really difficult (excluding art and communication majors). Lucky for you, however, I’m here today to inform everyone on how to get straight A’s with minimal effort. If you follow these methods perfectly, you’re bound to have perfect semesters for the rest of your college career.
Step 1: Acquire the necessary tools
Cheating is a whole lot different than what I like to call, “utilizing your resources”. Except for midterms and final exams, a vast majority of the work for your classes will be done online. So, when you’re taking a quiz while simultaneously playing Madden, make sure you’ve got the necessary tools available to make the quiz questions as easy as possible. I’m talking Socratic, Quizlet, ChatGPT, Photomath, etc. – leave no base uncovered. Online quizzes and assignments are quite literally the most free points in any class you ever take. If you can accumulate most of these points, you’ll set yourself up nicely for the easy A.
Step 2: Network
When it comes to the big exams, you’re not gonna be able to rely on the internet to get you through. This is where networking comes into play. Peer tutors, the class GroupMe, and that one random kid who sits next to you in lecture are all viable options when it comes to acquiring a study guide or cheat sheet of some sort. Since you didn’t take notes the entire semester and the textbook is over 1000 pages long, you’ve got to ride the coattails of someone who’s actually been trying in the class. As long as you’re okay with being that guy, this step will help tremendously in preventing you from failing a big exam.
Step 3: Watch a hype video before your midterms/finals
If you’re putting in the bare minimum effort into a class, then really all you’re doing is
cheating working through your online assignments and showing up to the exams. Attending class is completely optional. When you’re unfamiliar with the class material, it’s pretty easy to get super nervous before taking an exam. But, if you want that A, you can’t afford to be nervous. You need to be as dialed as Patrick Mahomes on Sunday when you step foot in that exam room. Otherwise, you can kiss that A goodbye.
Prior to your exam, maybe take ten or fifteen minutes to look over the study guide you leeched off of someone else, but don’t put too much emphasis on that. Right before you leave to go to your exam, throw on a David Goggins YouTube montage or the legendary Tavon Austin mixtape and you should be ready to go. Here’s my go-to:
Step 4: Enjoy your success
What good is hard work without a little fun? I mean, the whole point of this was to not work hard, but you still had to try to not put effort into your classes. Once you’ve aced all your classes, make sure to celebrate in any way you deem fitting. If it means you get banned from your campus bar for vomiting all over one of the tenders, then do just that, my friend. Now that you’re a distinguished scholar, you not only get to boast your outstanding GPA to all of your friends, but your parents can never get mad at you for excessively drinking on a weekday at home ever again!