If you’re going out to a bar on a Saturday night, odds are you’re trying to pick up women. Lucky for you, my mom is a woman, so it’s safe to say I’ve been around them enough to pick up a few tricks. Here are some ways to impress women at a bar.
Show off some cool dance moves
Girls love guys that can dance. If you don’t believe me, just watch Footloose or Step Up. I know dancing sounds easier than it truly is, so if you need some inspiration just follow @thepointerbrothers_ on TikTok or the Impractical Jokers on TruTv.
Pretend to have a famous father
Nothing is more impressive than having a boatload of money, especially if you never had to work a day in your life for it. That’s why my go-to move is always telling girls my father is someone famous. Just make sure you don’t choose someone too famous or else they may know it’s a lie. For reference, I usually use Bill Nye or Ty Burrell (Phil Dunphy). Works like a charm.
Outdrink everyone else in the bar
Obviously drinking large amounts of alcohol is impressive, we all know this. So if you’re ever in doubt of how to pick up a chick, just down 20 shots in a row in front of her. Not only will she think you are a total hunk, but now it doesn’t even matter what she looks like either.
Call the bartender “boss”
Not just boss, anything that shows you and the bartender have mutual respect for each other will work. That means things like brotha, my guy, player, and even champ play as well. Just don’t say buddy or you may get your ass kicked.
Talk crap about your ex
Talking about your ex, especially the bad stuff, shows that you have experience with women and that you are now over her. That combination will surely make you irresistible. Plus, if you play your cards right you may come off as a broken soul. Girls love desperate guys, trust me I’ve been for 22 years.
Sweat as much as possible
This one is easy. Just sweat profusely. I know it sounds odd, but hear me out. Sweating signifies dominance in a man. It shows hard work, athleticism, and proper hydration. What more could a woman want in a man?
Show her your fantasy baseball lineup
Nothing is more impressive than playing Shohei Ohtani in your utility spot. Nothing.