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How to Prepare Yourself for College

No matter how fuggin’ sick your senior year of high school was, you’re undoubtedly going to be underprepared for college in one way or another. I’ve been through the college adjustment period, and I have this job that allows me to publish these blogs. That basically makes me an expert in the subject, so listen to what I have to say. 

Know How to Get Drunk

If you’re waiting until you’re 21 to try your first sip of beer, power to you. But if you’re planning on experimenting with alcohol in college as most people do, my advice is to start that experimentation before you actually get there. If you didn’t do much drinking in high school, you should make sure you have at least a little practice before you get to your first weekend at college. You don’t want to be the person that can’t handle a few Tweas and ends up ruining an elevator ride for a bunch of strangers. I’m not saying become a full-fledged alcoholic before you get to school, but having some idea of your limits prior to your first college drinking experience is always a good call.

Be Able to Get Alcohol

One of the biggest struggles most freshmen have is actually being able to get their hands on booze, so before you get to school figure out what you’re going to do so that you’re not apart of the heartbreaking statistic of kids who go to bed at 11:30pm on their first Friday night at school. Whether it’s an older sibling, cousin, someone that went to your high school, or even someone that you matched with on Tinder – I personally used my ex-girlfriend’s sister… shoutout to her she was clutch – you’ve got to make sure that you go in prepared. The second step to that is getting a fake ID order in as soon as you possibly can. You’ll want to be able to hit the bars.

Ditch the Long Distance

I did it. I have friends that did it. It rarely ever works. Lose your high school sweetheart before you get to college. I know, you guys are different. But if you want to really maximize your time at college, you’ll ditch the person (in the nicest way possible of course) that’s 350 miles away and probably hooking up with someone else. Take the advice or leave it, but I’m telling you: you’ll be better off single.

Delete the DoorDash App from Your Phone

You’ll be just as happy with a bowl of Kraft Mac and Cheese at three in the morning. DoorDash is a wallet killer, and to use a phrase I recently heard from one of my co-workers, “Post DoorDash clarity hits different.” You’ll realize just as soon as you throw away the trash that the $27 you spent on Taco Bell was not even close to being worth it. Make sure that app is off your phone before you arrive at college, and don’t redownload – no matter how good a couple Doritos Locos Tacos sound.

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Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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