How to Procrastinate Like a Champ

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Everyone likes to talk about how bad they procrastinate and how they’re the best at it – blah blah blah. Shut up. You’re all wrong. In the nearly twenty-one years I’ve been on this planet I have locked down a completely full proof system on how to properly procrastinate while not sacrificing your grade. Listen up.

First: Know When Shit is Actually Due

It’s really easy to procrastinate when you only have one assignment, but real skill comes when you’re in midterms week and you have two papers, an exam, one group project, and a presentation all in the same week. That’s why you’ve got to get organized in your procrastination. I like to make sure I have down exactly when things are due so that in the day night hours before I have to turn in, I’m ready to get started.

Second: Get Extensions Where You Can

We live in a somewhat beautiful time where professors are still extremely concerned about how COVID is affecting all of us when in reality, none of us have cared for over a year. This is amazing because if you play your cards right, you can usually get one extension out of each of your professors in a semester. You may not have to use them, but if you realize that your procrastination schedule isn’t going to fit with the due date the professor has assigned, you’re going to want to get on an email asking for an extension as soon as possible.

Third: Work Smarter, Not Harder

In almost every assignment I’ve had in college, there’s been an easy way and a hard way to do it, and I can say with 100% certainty that the easy way has always landed me a better grade. So, when it comes the time to actually lock it down and do the work, make sure that you’re not putting in effort that is unnecessary. If they say 2-3 pages, go with two. If they say “minimum 500 words” make sure it’s 501 and no more. If they tell you that you need four outside sources, don’t use six.

That’s it. I was inspired to write this procrastination blog because I’ve been procrastinating writing it for right around three hours. Go Phils.

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