I Might Start Taking Sports Betting Advice from a Corgi

I enjoy sports betting just as much as any other college kid or middle-aged Bostonian, but that doesn’t mean I’m any good at it. In fact, I’m quite awful. However, until I have to start paying bills, I’ll gladly continue to blow half of my paycheck on any pick that my buddies consider a “lock” (It’s never a lock). After a while though, losing parlay after parlay sucks more than Riley Reid during her typical 9 to 5. I was barely able to feed myself during March Madness and now that we’re nearing the NBA Finals, I desperately need to win some coin so I can pay rent at school next year. In spite of my statistical anomaly of a cold streak, I think I’ve finally found the answer to my sports betting prayers: A Corgi. Now, before you call me crazy, just watch this angel of a dog work its magic.

Sure, the Lakers could close out the series tomorrow night against the Warriors, but going 5-0 on picks for a single playoff series is way better than I could ever do. “Steph Furry” doesn’t have any idea what sports betting even is, but I’d trust this dog over B/R Betting any day of the week. If this guru Corgi ends up correctly predicting a 3-1 comeback in this Golden State-Los Angeles series, I will bet my entire college fund on its picks for the NBA Finals. I honestly believe I have more trust in this dog than I do in most of my family members, and it’s not even my dog. If I was the owner of this Corgi, I would rely on him to make every major life decision for me. After experiencing such great success in his sports betting picks, I’d imagine he could make an educated decision as to whether or not I should take out a $20,000 loan to start my own food truck empire. But for now, I’ve got my remaining checking account balance on Warriors money line. Please pull through for me, my savior.

Written by the godfather

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