I still can’t believe Joey Chestnut ate 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes

It’s been 2 days since Joey Chestnut ate 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes. That’s almost 8 hot dogs per minute and 1 hot dog every 7.5 seconds. 

76 is a world record. It’s his world record. He beat his old record to get this new record. He’s been doing this for the past 6 years.

Jesus Christ.

I don’t think people understand the severity of this. From a caloric standpoint alone, one hot dog can deliver around 150 calories. 76 hotdogs is just under 11,500 calories. All consumed in ten minutes. 

But that’s just calories. 

Some scientists say that Chestnut’s stomach lining stretches so far, it is the equivalent of being 9 months pregnant, but he does this in ten minutes.

Chestnut said that it felt great to compete in front of fans again. Last year he ate 75 hot dogs, beating his previous record of 74, but due to the implications of the pandemic, he had to eat them without a crowd and indoors. 

I have to say, I watched that event last year, and I wasn’t sure how to react. Just seeing him delete hot dogs without the presence of any fans made me feel uneasy. I felt like I was watching someone go through some “sad-eating.”

The fans were a necessary pillar this year. They acted like a laughter track in a sitcom. They let us know when to cheer and when to be happy, even though we were all holding our breaths, praying that Joey Chestnut’s heart didn’t just give out on the spot. 

I can only imagine the horror he’s been through (or maybe still going through) to digest and be-rid of the 76 hot dogs. Or maybe his organs are even more psycho than he is. Maybe his toilet is the real victim.

Joey Chestnut ate 76 hot dogs in ten minutes. An American athlete and hero.

Good god.

Written by Henry Marken

I lost my pinky finger at age 4, but then found it again at a soup kitchen when I was 15. Survivor of a wild turkey attack (2008). I went to the University of Phoenix before it was cool to do college online. Currently in a lawsuit with Crayola after a devastating purple crayon incident.

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

An Average Night Out In College

Bryson, Foxes, And Bears Oh My