With Russia determined to invade Ukraine and China firing “test missiles” over Taiwan after Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, visited the island off the east coast of China, is seems as though we are inching toward another possible global conflict.
With two other powerhouse countries possibly involved, the United States may need to reinstate the draft. For those who may not know, males ages between 18-25 are required to sign up for the Selective Service System, thus meaning if we were to reinstate the draft it would be primarily males ages 18-25 going to fight the war.
Man would that be a complete shit show. Heres how I think the different ages would join the fight:
18-19 year olds
Between Fortnite dances and tea bagging the enemy they just shot, this group would be a mess. The enemy would know exactly where these guys are hiding out because they’d be watching a youtube video on full volume waiting to ambush the enemy. God knows if this group would even go if they got drafted because they’d meme themselves out of having to go. If they were to somehow sack up and join the fight they’d continue the memes. To start, on the plane ride over you’d hear, “where we dropping boys?” at least 30 times. Oh Sergeant Smith just got killed in action? “Lmao Yeet! Spam F in the chat boys, Why he die like that?????? 🤣”
20-22 year olds
To start, boot camp would be the longest 10 weeks of their lives. They would all have withdrawals from nic and alcohol. Anxiety would also be at all time high because they can’t watch to see if their parlay hit on Korean Table Tennis. Once they made it through basic, this group would be more mature, just slightly more mature. These animals would be going into battle blaring Love Sosa and Mo Bamba through the shitty tank speakers. Because this group grew up on the two greatest video games of all time, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 and Call of Duty Black Ops 2, they would be dolphin diving everywhere, trying to quick-scope, use grenade launchers every chance they got, and end the battle with a 360 no-scope.
23-25 year olds
Probably the most split group out of them all. Half of these guys would be vlogging their protest for war through Tik Tok live at a base halfway across the globe while they’re loading bullets into a 30 round magazine getting people to sympathize for them. The other group would remember the days before 9/11 in their early childhood and perform the greatest acts of courage this country has seen since the fellas raised the flag in 45′ after the battle of Iwo Jima. Then taking a 2 week break going on a 14 day blackout bender.