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If You Need A Reason To Hate, The Hawks, Here Are A Couple

I’ve warned my wife that for the first time since we’ve been married that she will have to endure me watching the Knicks in the playoffs. It’s not like we’ve been married for only a year; for the last 7 years, I’ve had to suffer from the Knicks. The hate has already started to boil as I’ve started to comment on random Trae Young tweets.

You know what brings together sport fans, hatred. So we are going to find what Knicks fans should hate about this Hawks team. I’m still trying to find reasons why TFM should send me to MSG with the new vaccine rules the tickets have dropped dramatically.

Trae Young

First of all fuck Trae Young this man was supposed to be the next Steph Curry, and he’s not. First of all, have you ever seen Steph’s hair look this bad? This is a man who is losing his hair at the ripe age of 22. He should have to show his passport, driver’s license, and social security card to get into a bar, but he doesn’t even get Id’d with this look.

I can make fun of his balding since I’ve been going bald since I was 22.

Trae will do his stupid lean-in shit and get calls, and I’ve already started to lose my mind. Taking a 25-foot jump shot is whatever, but leaning into it and getting the call is going over the line. If you want to be this flashy 3 point shooter, how about you don’t purposely get foul calls? I know there will be some bad foul calls, and I hope the fans of MSG let the refs hear it. Hey, maybe I’ll be one of those fans?

Nate McMillan is already complaining about fouls

“I’ve talked about that to the team a lot. I’ve gone as far as saying, the league wants this. They need this.” “It’s a big market for the league,” he continued. “New York has been out of the playoffs for a number of years. This is a team that our league — they want to see. It’s a huge fanbase. They want to see New York in the playoffs. … I think the NBA is excited about them being back in the playoffs.”

TheAthletic

The Hawks head coach was fined $25K for these comments, and I believe it should be $100K. The man who has Trae Young on his team says that the refs are going to give the Knicks more fouls because the NBA wants them to win?

The Hawks this season averaged 24.2 free throws a game, compared to the Knicks, who only averaged 20.9. That’s more than the Lakers, who have the golden boy LeBron on their team, and the Nets, who have an even bigger flopper in Harden on the team. I want the Knicks to shoot fewer free throws than the Hawks and still kick their ass by 20 every game, so we don’t have to hear this narrative.

Bogdan Bogdanovic isn’t supposed to be on this team

Remember when free agency opened, and it was absolute mayhem? The Bucks were supposed to get Bogdan, but the NBA said that the Bucks were tampering. The NBA had the balls to call tampering, the league where Woj knows where every player is going at exactly midnight and one second. How do you think he knows that so fast? It’s because the entire league tampers. After every bucket that Bogdan makes, I will be complaining that he shouldn’t be here.

Their GM claimed they were going to be the next Warriors

I’m not even taking the time to look up this guy’s name because fuck him. Let’s casually throw out that we will build one of the greatest teams in NBA history. That’s like me saying I’m not going to be a fat ass tomorrow. Well, guess what? I’ll eat an entire pizza tomorrow, and nobody should be surprised. The Hawks are not the next Warriors.

I’m so excited about this series, and I don’t care if anybody who reads this is a Knicks fan. I’ve kept with the Knicks since the Stephon Marbury days. I watched Melo’s first game live and was singing coming home alone in my bedroom as I was getting yelled at by my parents to shut up. I copied Melo’s 3 to the dome celebration while playing basketball in my driveway. This is what sports are all about, I’m filled with a nervous energy that has already turned into hate, and I encourage everybody to do the same.

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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Slang Saturday: Volume IX