Incoming Crack Baby: Lindsay Lohan is Pregnant

Lindsay Lohan just announced the pregnancy of her first child. This announcement took the form of a photoshoot that featured her baby bump. If you haven’t seen the pictures, just imagine any other celebrity’s pregnancy pictures. They’re the exact same. Maybe other people are more up to date on Lindsay Lohan’s life, but I found it shocking that this is her first child. It seemed like most of the Hollywood pick-me girls from her generation were shooting out kids once a year. This could deal with the fact that her youth was filled with more drugs than a small-town pharmacy, but either way I found this shocking. 

Lindsay Lohan seems to have her shit together these days. The Mean Girls star pretty famously struggled to deal with fame in her youth, but it seems that she traded her place in the spotlight for some sanity in recent years. She said she is the happiest she’s ever been. From my knowledge about Lindsay Lohan, this must mean she just defeated Rachel McAdams in their love triangle. 

I find the public image of Hollywood moms to be a fascinating part of these pregnancy announcements. Honestly, it’s the only reason to care about any of them. Lindsay Lohan’s child is going to grow up in a world where the internet exists, and nothing gets past it. It must be terrible to know as a kid of all of the wild things your parents did in their youth. I’ve heard stories of my dad committing crimes, but he at least gets to filter what is shared to me. Also, there are no pictures of him in a sexy Santa outfit for my classmates to fill every group chat with. That could be a result of him being a lot less attractive than Lindsay Lohan though. Either way, good luck to this kid. Being raised by Lindsay Lohan must be an adventure. 

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Written by TFM

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