Is Everybody Ready For The Whoring ’20s Or Slutty Summer?

A few weeks ago, Ashwin Deshmukh saw something he hadn’t in over a year:  “Uhhhh it’s happening. Host is escorting a couple out of a soho restaurant for bathroom shenanigans. They met outside an hour ago,” he tweeted.  Twitter had one response: New York is back.  The bathroom hookup is just the start of a wave of debauchery that’s about to hit the city.  “People are just ready to go,” Deshmukh, a partner at hot spots Short Stories and Williamsburg Pizza, told The Post. Right now, there is an “infinite demand” for partying, he said.  Some have dubbed it “slutty summer” or “the whoring ’20s.” Others have proclaimed that we’re in for a “Shot Girl Summer,” inspired by the viral Megan Thee Stallion song “Hot Girl Summer.” No matter what you call it, 1967’s Summer of Love isn’t going to have anything on 2021. With all New Yorkers over 16 eligible to be vaccinated and bars and restaurants opening, city dwellers have one thing planned for this summer: getting it on.


This summer will be full of debauchery, and if the Experts are right, it’s going to be wonderful. I’m calling every single young person to go crazy and have the best summer humanely possible. I might not be single, but I can vicariously live through other people’s posts on Instagram. When I’m playing in a sandcastle with my kid, I sure hope to see the single people partying on a beach with everybody half-naked. We have 52 days until the official start of summer. Get that beer belly gone, throw out those shitty shorts, and cut off all the sleeves on your shirts. Suns out, Guns out, baby!!!

After more than a year of crafting carefully worded messages on Hinge and Tinder, old-fashioned, in-person “spontaneous” meets will be preferred, the 27-year-old said. The ability to meet someone at a bar or on the subway had “been virtually extinguished, and that’s going to be coming back,” she said. “Everyone has something in common now. ‘How excited are you that the pandemic’s over?’ can literally be your opening line.” 


I would maybe not start with an opening line that has anything to do with the pandemic. It’s been over a year now, and every second there has been talking about this god damn shit. You don’t want to look like this guy as soon as bars open.

Sexual releases are historically the norm after pandemics, said Nicholas Christakis, a sociologist, physician and Yale professor. “Typically, if you look at centuries of plagues, there’s a party at the end,” he told The Post. “When the epidemics of the bubonic plague ended, there was dancing in the streets.”


We have god damn Yale professors telling us that shit is going to be crazy. I wonder how this pandemic is going to end. On one side, we have people ready to party and go crazy right now. Then on the other side, we have people who refuse to take their masks off and don’t trust the vaccines. I hope there’s an announcement that everything is back to normal, and then everybody gets the next couple of days off.

Regardless I know that it’s going to be wonderful, and this is normal people saying these kinds of things. Normal people are practically saying this summer will be the summer that body counts will go through the roof. Get ready boys.

But now, he said, “This is the time when both parties are going to be OK with [hooking up].” But don’t confuse slutty summer with cuffing season.  “Being cooped up for such a long time, I think I don’t have the desire to be in a relationship. In the short term, I have no interest in something serious,” said Evan Silverman, 24. “My goal is to meet as many people as possible.”


Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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