As a guy who lives on Twitter, I gotta admit I’m a total piece of shit. I mean, I know I won’t be happy until I break my addiction to this app, but there’s just so much good stuff on here.
Like, when breaking news hits, you hear about it way before anyone else. It’s like I’ve got this inside scoop on everything that’s happening in the world. And that can be a major advantage, especially when it comes to sports. I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made some killer bets on a game because I got the scoop on Twitter before the rest of my buddies.
But the only problem is, it’s Twitter. People think they’re experts on world affairs just because they took a Poli Sci class in their first year at some fancy liberal arts college. Like, bro, that doesn’t give you the right to comment on why Putin invaded Ukraine or why gas prices are suddenly through the roof because of some new algae in the Atlantic, allegedly caused by Joe Biden.
And don’t even get me started on politics on Twitter. I mean, everyone’s got an opinion on everything, and most of them are just straight-up garbage. It’s like people just regurgitate whatever they read on some other dude’s feed without even thinking about it. I’ve seen so many people tweeting some BS they don’t even understand, just so they can try to look smart or woke or whatever.
If you see some dude saying “Here’s what’s going on in Yemen from a guy who worked at Raytheon for 10 years”, just keep on scrolling. He ain’t got shit to add to the convo. Plus, you’re just gonna mansplain that same crap to some poor girl at a dive bar who just wants you to buy her and her drunk friends a Vodka Soda with a splash of Cranberry.
But I gotta admit, there are some benefits to being a Twitter addict. Like, you can learn some things that can benefit you in the real world. For example, sometimes I’ll see a workout I can implement into my routine.
And let’s not forget about the memes. Twitter is like the mecca of memes that you will see on Instagram in 3 months. I’ve laughed so hard at some of the stuff I’ve seen on here, I swear I pulled a muscle. And the best part is, I can just send them to my bros and we all have a good laugh.
So yeah, I know I’m a total piece of shit for being so addicted to Twitter. But hey, it’s not all bad. At least I’m staying up to date on current events and getting some killer workout tips, right? And if I need a good laugh, I know I can always count on Twitter to deliver.
