It’s a Bold Strategy Cotton: Alex Jones’s Lawyer Accidentally Send 2 Years’ Worth of Cell Phone Records to Plaintiffs

Austin, Texas- Human thumb and host/founder of Info Wars Alex Jones has had himself a week. He is currently in the middle of a Civil trial brought upon by the parents of victims of the Sandy Hook massacre. Almost from the onset of the tragedy back in 2012, Jones propagated a conspiracy theory that the deadliest school shooting in American history was “secretly a government hoax designed to attack the Second Amendment”. The spread of the theory resulted in Jones’s followers harassing the family members of the victims, specifically the parents of the 20 children that were killed. If found liable, Jones could be ordered to pay as much as $150 Million dollars in damages to the victims in the case.  

The story of the week is now focused on Jones’s attorney who, in a bold move, sent the plaintiff’s lawyers 2 years’ worth of cell phone recordings from Jones’s phones that proved he lied under oath. 

I’m no lawyer- and correct me if I’m wrong- but this doesn’t feel like the right move for Jones’s team. Everyone in America is innocent until proven guilty, but I don’t think you’re supposed to prove yourself guilty, at least not of Perjury. ( I knew what Perjury was before I wrote this article)

Now I’m not a political person, and I don’t care what your political beliefs are, but this is a very funny thing to happen. It’s the judicial equivalent of slipping on a banana peel that you saw coming a mile away. It’s like hitting yourself with a green shell. It’s like falling off Rainbow Road when you’re in first place on lap 3. If you need more Mario Kart analogies, please email me and I’d be more than happy to share them with you. If you’re looking for an analogy not related to Mario Kart, please visit the National Archives at

It’s hard to see Jones being cleared of liability in this case, but he shouldn’t worry. He can always fall back on selling his proven diet and workout program, see the results for yourself.

Written by tfmdirtymike

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