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It’s Just A Fucking Potato

I can’t believe we canceled a fucking potato. Twitter has run out of privileged white directors and comedians with old tweets about hookers to cancel and moved on to literal toys based on food. Recently Hasbro has removed the Mr from the beloved toy, Mr. Potato Head. This pissed off a lot of Twitter users because, as we all know, people on Twitter are children and still play with toys. That’s what I think this situation is, a bunch of babies on Twitter crying over a toy. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if someone out there is claiming that having “Mr” is offensive to potatoes because they don’t have genders in the LGBTQ community… That’s the lettuce, grape, bacon, tomato, and quesadilla community for all you uncultured wretched scum. This did however get me thinking about what other toys could be next on Twitter’s list. 

For example, G.I. Joe is clearly biased and offensive towards women. Those toys should be called G.I. Jenny or G.I. Jasmine. The name Barbie is offensive towards women named Barbra that aren’t hot so let’s change that to Bradbie. American Girl is excluding boys from their brand so they are now called American Things To Hold In Your Hand That Somewhat Resembles A Young Human. And don’t even get me started on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

I personally don’t give a fuck about Hasbro’s choice to change the name, but I DO give a fuck about why other people give a fuck. I enjoy seeing people get pissed off at things that DO Not affect them whatsoever. I could understand if you still play with a Mr. Potato Head and find this offensive, but then I would ask how have you made it this far in life you dumb fucking kid. 

Cancel culture has moved onto toys, but not just any toys, toys based on a goddamn food.

https://apnews.com/article/mr-potato-head-goes-gender-neutral-d3c178f2b9b0c424ed814657be41a9d8

What do you think?

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Written by Conall Lynch

Conall drinks vodka and chases it with a Granny Smith Apple. He likes to say “the mustache is just for content” but deep down wants to keep it.

One Comment

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  1. Was anyone actually complaining tho? Or did Hasbro just do it… cause they knew this would happen, and now infinitely more people are mad that they did it than the tiny huddle of morons who actually cared in the first place. And every news outlet is giving free publicity to a toy no one was talking about.

    So next time anyone is walking down the aisle they might notice it when they wouldn’t have before. Or even be like, “hmm actually that doesn’t sound like a cool toy to have.”

    No such thing as bad publicity in this situation.

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