Mailman Dave
Tik Tok is a place for girls to shake their ass to new videos every day, funny fishing videos that if people knew I watched, I would get PETA called on me. I know there are wiggle dickers on Tik Tok who have turned into the biggest celebrities and are rich as fuck after making videos of them dancing and having 13-year-olds liking all of their videos like they have just snorted lines of Adderall. Now we have football players jumping on the wiggle dick trend, and for some odd reason, this was the song they chose to use.
Justin Bieber has gone through weird phases; he was the young Canadian who was discovered through YouTube and had floppy hair. Throughout the years, he has released #1 singles, and in recent years I feel like he has transferred from being loved by young teenagers, and more of the general public enjoy him. A song that normal dudes do not love is Baby, which is the definition of teeny-bop. If you’re near my age, you remember every girl with pigtails and braces blaring that song on their shitty apple shuffle. You could still hear the annoying music over her screaming Baby Baby. It’s a song that nobody really liked. The weird kids who listened to 80’s hair bands and refused to listen to anything after 1999 hated it, the kids who thought that their suburb was a hardcore neighborhood and only listened to rap music hated it. It was strictly for young girls, and now for some reason, the Kansas State football team. I understand that I sound like an old man yelling at the clouds, but I want my football team to be like this.
This song was probably very influential for these young kids, and I have to remember that star athletes are almost a decade younger than me. Hey, knowing how the internet works after this Tik Tok blows up, it won’t matter that Kansas State will probably go 4-6 again this year; this kid will make millions by being a wiggle dicker. All I have to say is remember how doing Tik Tok dances turned out for Juju Smith?
