Mailman Dave
Boom, all of a sudden, I see everybody who gives two shits about baseball start retweeting Passan’s tweet. I quickly read the tweet, and my jaw dropped. Kris Bryant is still one of the best players in baseball, even though he had a slump last year. Corona year is the easiest excuse for anybody who sucked last year. I blamed becoming a fat ass on the pandemic, and Bryant can blame his 0.293 OBP, 4 HR, and 0.4 WAR on the virus.
I reread it and quickly realized that Passan was a bigger tease than the stripper who has given you 4 lap dances in a row, and in the back of your horny mind, you actually think that she wants to go home with you. Nah, bro, she wants your money. Passan just wanted everybody’s clicks, and he got them. It’s not Kris who is being traded, but Zach Bryant, who is a right-hand pitcher. I would be lying if I knew anything about Zach other than he shares the same last name as Kris Bryant. Then Passan doubled down with his troll job as he replied to his own tweet with this.
This motherfucker knew exactly what he was doing and was probably laughing his ass as the entire city of Chicago was ready to explode. All you can do is give a round of applause for this tremendous troll job.
