Kim Jong-Un is on an Ultimate Bender

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - MAY 31: People watch a television broadcast showing a file image of a North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un at the Seoul Railway Station on May 31, 2023 in Seoul, South Korea. North Korea fired what it claims to be a "space launch vehicle" southward Wednesday, but it fell into the Yellow Sea after an "abnormal" flight, the South Korean military said, in a botched launch that defied international criticism and warnings. (Photo by Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images)

According to recent intelligence reports, it appears that North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un has gained weight. The National Intelligence Service of South Korea has been closely monitoring his health and provided an update on the matter. During a briefing, a member of South Korea’s parliamentary intelligence committee stated that Kim seemed to have regained all the weight he had previously lost in 2021, and even more. The estimation was based on the analysis of recent pictures using artificial intelligence (AI).

Kim, if you are reading this, I am here for you. I think your body is beautiful, but these reports are mean. The more I read about Kim’s habits, the more I related to him. He enjoys nicotine products, drinking, and eating. How can you not love this guy? You could probably make the same headline for 50% of America but since he is a tyrannical leader, its okay to call him fat. Body shaming needs to stop.

The intelligence service described Kim as being caught in a “vicious cycle” that involves excessive drinking, smoking, and significant sleep disorders. It was also mentioned that he has a preference for hoarding U.S. imports such as Marlboro cigarettes. This is also my favorite type of cigarette so it’s totally understandable that he imports them. I have to import my flavored Zyn to California because they banned flavored nicotine.

During a public appearance on May 16, Kim was observed to have dark circles around his eyes, indicating fatigue. Additionally, he had scratches and bruises on his arms, which were attributed to stress-induced dermatitis. While reports in 2020 suggested that he underwent a cardiovascular procedure, but North Korea has never confirmed this.

As a college student, I totally get this. Kim is just on a bender of a lifetime and everyone needs to be nice to him. How many times have you come home from college and your grandma asks why you’ve gotten fat? Well, Gam Gam, I drink like a fish and eat ramen noodles twice a day. There is a method behind this madness. I think Kim Jong-Un and I would be best friends

Written by TFM Stelly

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