Kim Kardashian Cries Over Her Impossibly Hard Life

Kim Kardashian wants your sympathy. It’s bad enough that she tricks us into giving her millions of likes on Instagram by only wearing three Kleenex tissues worth of fabric at once. But now she wants you to feel bad for her about her parenting responsibilities too. This report comes after Kim K went on a podcast hosted by a man named Jay Shetty, and talked about how she cries herself to sleep at night because she is so overwhelmed being a single parent. I think we should all be inspired by Kardashian sharing the bravery that allows her to successfully parent with nothing but herself, several nannies, a rich family, and hundreds of millions of dollars. How does she do it all?

I wish someone would tell the Kardashians that they are going to need to experience a real tragedy before they attempt to get national sympathy. I understand that the people who watched every season of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” would be worried about Kim if she posted a picture simply about stubbing her toe. The rest of the world, however, has seen how rich, untalented, and annoying they all are, and would be more interested in reading about what Hasbulla ate for dinner last night. 

The big problem about the Kardashian’s is we are all so used to being fed involuntary information about them all the time. Social media covers anything they do, and they’re so popular they end up making a rogue appearance on your feed whether you like it or not. As a result of this, we are all pros at sorting her account for the whiny bullshit, and the bikini pictures we reluctantly double tap. This was easily in the former. It wasn’t even until I read more about this that I made the conscious decision that she is being way too dramatic about this. I’m so sorry that your life is no longer going perfect, Kim. It’s not like that for the rest of us either. Take a look around and tell me if your situation is so bad you should be crying about it. 

Kim, if you still don’t believe me, here is a list of reasons I’ve cried myself to sleep to show you how bad it can really get:

I jumped into bed too fast and sat on my scrotum.

I had recently watched the film, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and it made me sad. 

I thought about the time my fifth-grade crush laughed when my friend called me “fire crotch” and the memory was too painful. 

I was grounded for hiding alcohol in the garage when I was only half way through the Red Dead Redemption 2 campaign. 

A girl jumped into bed too fast and sat on my scrotum.

Things always get worse, Kim. Maybe you should take a look into the impossibly elaborate mirror in your bathroom and humble yourself real quick. 

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Written by TFM

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