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Last Call for Splash Mountain

The sun sets on Splash Mountain in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World, Thursday, Dec. 7, 2022. The popular attraction opened in 1992 and will close permanently on Jan. 23, 2023, to be repurposed with a new theme as âTiana's Bayou Adventure.❠(Joe Burbank/Orlando Sentinel/Tribune News Service via Getty Images)

For those of you who have ever made the trek down to the land of diabetes and sunburn to visit sweaty people in animal costumes, you will be saddened to find out that Splash Mountain’s days with us are numbered. The ride is being canceled because it features several characters from Disney’s 1946 film Song of the South. This film is notorious for romanticizing racist stereotypes. Safe to say there’s no room for it at the Happiest Place on Earth.

The closing of the ride brought thousands of Disney maniacs to the park to get one last chaffing courtesy of splash mountain. I don’t know about you guys but getting soaking wet and then having to walk around a theme park all day would have me in shambles. With the line reaching over a 3-hour wait on the last day of operation, I guess Disney people are just built different. 

Disney Fanatics have gone as far as collecting water from Splash Mountain to sell on eBay with a starting bid of $100. It only gets crazier when you find out that people are actually buying it. Even if for some forsaken reason this is something you would want to buy, what is stopping someone from just selling a water bottle and claiming it’s “Splash Mountain Water”? Absolutely nothing! One of the eBay listings is actually in a Dasani water bottle. I mean come on, you couldn’t have picked a worse water brand to remember this ride by. I’m not trying to poor shame, but if your gonna try to pay tribute to the ride do it right and pay up for a Poland Springs bottle.

Walt Disney World plans to replace Splash Mountain with, Tiana’s Bayou Adventure, a ride based on Disney’s The Princess and the Frog. Hopefully, this solution will make all parties happy and still feature a post-ride chaffing for all the kids to enjoy. While the big drop may be missed, something tells me the creepy robotic animals will be gladly left in the past.

Written by Brady White

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