LOVE IS DEAD: Kim and Pete Split After 9 Months

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Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson have split after nine months together, sources say. 

Reports say that the two found it hard to maintain a relationship over a long distance with demanding schedules. Sources also say they have “a lot of love and respect for one another” and will continue to remain friends. 

Well, fuck me. In a year full of war, climate disasters, political angst, mass shootings, and other tragedies, this split is by far the worst event to happen in 2022. Pim was the only thing keeping me going. I speak for every American when I say these two heroes were an inspiration to us all. I can’t help but wonder what I could have done better. Did I try hard enough? Did I take it all for granted? I’m now forced to spend the rest of my days thinking about what could have been. 

Mark today, August 5th, as the day love died. Also mark it down as a huge defeat for white guys. Historically, it’s as hard as it ever has been to be a straight white man. I think we needed the confidence of Pete being with Kim to keep us all going, and we are gonna see the whole community start to collapse after this. 

Not to be overlooked here is the massive win for Kayne. It must’ve been hard watching Kim kiss Pete in that Aladdin sketch back in October, but surely Kanye thought that was the last time he’d see them interact. And then Skete was born, followed by the most one-sided celebrity beef of all time. Remember those texts between Pete and Kayne?

Yea man I miss this shit. Pete had time that day for sure. Then Kim told Ye to chill and he posted that too.

This is what we lost today. Thinking of our nation during this time.

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