Mailman Madness: If You Love Something You Need To Set It Free

My journey of covering the right side of the bracket is almost done. We’ve got some things right, and we’ve gotten some things very wrong. Like laughably bad, I’m a normal person; nobody knows what the hell is going on. There’s always one person who will tell you they have the perfect bracket, but that’s never the case. This is what makes the Madness so great. Let’s take a look at what I thought about my final four from the right side of the bracket.

My final four from the right side of the bracket is going to be Loyola and Baylor. I didn’t even bother talking about Baylor against Villanova, and that’s because Baylor is a juggernaut. Da Bears are going to eat the pussycats like it’s shrimp fried rice. Sister Jean probably doesn’t have many more final four runs left, and this team gives the Sister the best chance to see the Ramblers make it to the finals.

Alright, I was right about Baylor eating the pussycats like shrimp fried rice. God damn, Sister Jean let me down. I don’t blame the team for not being able to score. No, I blame Sister Jean for not praying enough. This would’ve been the perfect year for the Sister. How many more global pandemics can she survive? She already made it through the Spanish Flu and Coronavirus. If Loyola is successful in the future, is it even worth it if we don’t get camera pans of Sister Jean chilling in her wheelchair and doing the light pat on the back of the hand clap?

That was the test, and now this weekend, it’s Cinderella vs. Cinderella. Sister Jean is going to be serving Beaver stew this weekend.

They couldn’t even make it past Oregon State. I figured that Loyola would have the Cinderella magic and end Oregon State’s run. Well, I was wrong. It wasn’t all bad; I did manage to get a couple of things right.

The Razorbacks are going to run a train on Oral. I had to get one last sex joke in before Oral is gone.

Even though they didn’t run on a train on Oral Roberts, Arkansas did end up winning the game, so that’s a positive in my books.

Sticking to the boring script, I see Houston beating Syracuse.

I had the under in this game, and sweet baby Jesus was it easy. I didn’t have to sweat it for one second. At halftime, both teams combined only had 50 points. I was right about Houston being a boring team that just won. I should’ve seen how easy of a run that Houston had to make the Final Four. They didn’t play one single-digit ranked team, and they just smacked around Cinderella’s like they were a pimp on the corner.

With it all being over covering my first side March Madness, it’s time to join forces with Henry Marken. Before we start a 1-2 punch covering the last couple of games, I figured I would put a little questionnaire out there.

Dear Henry,

Where do you live?

How did you originally lose your pinky?

And when you say you found it at a soup kitchen were you helping out the poor or did you get a bowl with your finger floating around in some tomato soup?

Who won the wild Turkey fight I take it since you’re blogging and still alive it must’ve been you?

What’s your favorite non pornographic magazine to jack off to?

What’s your favorite dinosaur?

Looking forward to working with you Henry, and p.s. I’m gonna put my nutsack on your drumset.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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