Mailman Madness: Sweet And Salty Sixteen

I’m salty for multiple reasons while writing this. One, I’m sad that the madness is almost over. It feels like it just started. After this, we have to endure NBA teams “not” tanking when they put out 6 players with the default skin in 2K; you’re tanking. Second, I’m salty because I 100% missed on teams that I thought would be at the Sweet 16. From the right side of the bracket, I completely missed Loyola. I thought that an 8th seed that would make it this far would be UNC, and I was wrong. I don’t have a horse in the race, so I’m not rooting for one team. I’m just rooting for my wallet at this point.

Where I’m putting my wallet this weekend is very boring. I don’t see anything crazy happening, and I see most of the favorites winning. It has been fun making jokes about how much I love Oral, there’s nothing better than watching Oral, but I think their Cinderella run ends here. Beating Ohio State was incredibly impressive, Florida wasn’t that good of an opponent, and Arkansas is one of the country’s best teams. The Razorbacks are going to run a train on Oral. I had to get one last sex joke in before Oral is gone.

Loyola had to beat Illinois, a team that many had making it to the final. That was the test, and now this weekend, it’s Cinderella vs. Cinderella. Sister Jean is going to be serving Beaver stew this weekend. One thing that I’m not excited about is hearing Sister Jean’s prayer. It will be a full scouting report with a couple of Hail Mary’s thrown in there. All I know is that I’m excited to see Farva throw some sweet passes from the post.

Sticking to the boring script, I see Houston beating Syracuse. Syracuse, where I’m from, is the default team to root for. It’s really the only basketball program within a 6-hour drive. People will go to tiny ass schools around Syracuse and claim that they went to Cuse. The 2-3 zone trips teams up, but Houston is just a solid team on both sides of the ball. They are a top 11 team for both offense and defense, but they don’t really have any players that excite anybody. Their best player is Quentin Grimes, who is projected to go in the 2nd round of the draft. We need some Houston students to go insane as Ohio did; they will be my favorite team to root for.

Here I go looking like a dumbass again. It’s time for some bold ass predictions that will probably not even come close. My final four from the right side of the bracket is going to be Loyola and Baylor. I didn’t even bother talking about Baylor against Villanova, and that’s because Baylor is a juggernaut. Da Bears are going to eat the pussycats like it’s shrimp fried rice. Sister Jean probably doesn’t have many more final four runs left, and this team gives the Sister the best chance to see the Ramblers make it to the finals.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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