We are four weeks into the NFL season. This also means that we are about a month into the college semester. I’m 4-0 in fantasy, and failing all of my classes, so I guess I should just pursue my football addiction full time, right? I can’t think of a reason why not.
Jaguars vs. Falcons
The Jaguars aren’t as good as we want them to be. The Falcons, however, aren’t even good enough to compete for the NFC South, which is a less competitive division than the one my high school plays in.
Colts vs. Rams
Anthony Richardson was back, and took the Rams (Who have very quietly had a good season so far) to overtime. Puka Nacua caught the game winning touchdown, and would be the rookie of the year if the season ended today.
Browns vs. Ravens
The NFL’s biggest massage enthusiast other than Robert Kraft sat out with an injury, which opened the door for UCLA sensation Dorian Thompson-Robinson. DTR got smoked though, and he threw three picks. I miss watching him on Saturday’s.
Panthers vs. Vikings
I’m now 0-2 betting a Vikings tie against winless teams. Kirk Cousins threw two touchdowns to Justin Jefferson, and one to the Panthers in a boring 21-13 win. The Vikings officially suck.
Titans vs. Bengals
Joe Burrow was held below 200 passing yards in the Bengals loss. He also had zero passing touchdowns, but Tannehill and Derrick Henry both threw one. Joe Burrow is a bad quarterback until further notice.
Saints vs. Buccaneers
The Saints need to end the Derek Carr experiment and just let Jameis Winston play. Baker vs Jameis would’ve been the most exciting game of the year. Baker held up his end of the bargain, throwing three touchdowns and a pick, and the Saints offense was horrible, scoring nine points.
Bills vs. Dolphins
If the Dolphins won this game, their hype would’ve gotten out of control. The Bills played a great game and the AFC power dynamic is balancing out.
Bears vs. Broncos
Justin Fields played his best game as a pro. He was moving the ball across the entire field, and then the Bears let a team that just lost by fifty points come back and win. I promise you Fields is not the issue with this team.
Eagles vs. Commanders
Jalen Hurts played his best football of the season, the Eagles got five sacks, didn’t turn the ball over, and won in overtime. Sam Howell (who still sucks) and the Commanders played a great game, and the refs called eighteen penalties, and missed some more. It wasn’t enough for the Commies. Go Birds.
Texans vs. Steelers
The Texans have found their franchise quarterback. Stroud is balling out right now. Without Puka Nacua, he’d be a ROTY lock. Also, Steelers fans have the stones to blame a Hall-of-Fame quarterback for their start, when their starting quarterback still can’t grip a football without gloves.
Chargers vs. Raiders
The Chargers won their second straight game, despite Brandon Staley’s best efforts. They are not a good team. They barely beat a third-round rookie who doesn’t have the arm talent to play steady quarterback in a middle-school street game.
49ers vs. Cardinals
Christian McCaffrey could have your girlfriend if he wanted her. He had four touchdowns, and his fifth was given to Brock Purdy to boost his ego. This team is rolling, with no signs of slowing down. That being said, credit to the Cardinals for playing literally every game tough.
Cowboys vs. Patriots
Fun fact: the Cowboys 38-3 victory over the Patriots marked Bill Belicheck’s biggest coaching loss of all time. Another fun fact: it’s still not the Cowboys’ year.
Jets vs. Chiefs
Zach Wilson played a great game, even if you didn’t want him to. It was a one possession game late, but the Jets self-proclaimed historically great defense couldn’t give him the ball back. Robert Saleh, aka The Lebanese Torpedo, did not look happy about it as they fell to 1-3.