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Mark Sanchez Outkicked His Coverage

Courtesy of People

Mark Sanchez, known for the infamous butt fumble, just married an actress named Perry Mattfeld. Congratulations to them both, but much more to Sanchez, who totally just outkicked his coverage. I don’t know much about him as a man, or anything he’s done with his life off the football field. But I have seen how hot his wife is, and what he looks like trying to stand in a pocket. That is more than enough for me to know that she is totally out of his league.

I think this confirms the theory that backup quarterback is the best job in the world. Alex Moran popularized this thought process in the show Blue Mountain State along with the term, “trickle down banging.” This is no trickle-down banging though. Mark Sanchez just married someone that Patrick Mahomes should be leaving his wife for. I have no idea who Perry Mettfeld is or any of the movies she has made, but the woman is gorgeous. She makes me want to put together a Hudl tape of my time dominating JV football as a senior.

Many people forget that Mark Sanchez did go to an AFC Championship game with the Jets early in his career. He had his moments. But at the end of the day, he is deservedly remembered as a journeyman backup in the NFL. Maybe it’s just the laziness in me, but this sounds so much better than being an NFL starter. Chase Daniel is a great example. He has started five games in his career, and earned thirty-six million dollars along the way. That equates to $137,931 per pass thrown. Sign me up for that in a heartbeat. Especially if it means a supermodel is going to tuck me in at night and distract me from my own mediocrity. 

Derek Beavers

Written by Derek Beavers

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