Marshawn Lynch Is In A Movie And It Looks Terrible

Marshawn Lynch is apparently an actor now and is set to appear in his first movie. What’s the movie about? Just a high school lesbian fight club. Confusing? Yes. Weird? Abundantly. Funny? I don’t know, probably not.

Here’s the trailer.

The movie is called Bottoms in reference to queer sex lingo and follows two lesbian high schoolers that start a fight club to get with two straight girls with boyfriends. I don’t really understand it much, but it has Marshawn Lynch so I’ll probably see it.

Lynch plays a teacher in the film and has a pretty large role according to the trailer and movie poster. While this is definitely Lynch’s biggest role to date, it’s not his first time on camera. The former Seahawks star has been in an episode of The League as well as the guest star of one episode of Will Arnett’s unscripted mystery-comedy Murderville. Would I say that Marshawn is a good actor based off of those two screenings? God no. He was absolutely awful. Yet, I think that’s the appeal.

Obviously Lynch isn’t going to be Denzel or Samuel L. Jackson (not race related, just two really good actors), but he isn’t even Shaq or Kevin Garnett. He is clearly out of his element when he is acting and it’s absolutely hysterical. Especially for this movie that looks like a piece of dog shit smeared over a camera lens with corny stereotypes and jocks who wear full football pads to class, I think Lynch’s uncomfortableness will mesh well with the theme of the movie.

I expect the movie to be categorized in the “never should have been made, money grab” genre along with Blue Mountain State: The Rise of Thadland, American Pie: Girls’ Rules, and Space Jam 2. It will be cheesy, annoying, and a disgrace to worldwide cinema. I could not possibly be more excited. For everyone else excited to watch this dumpster fire of a movie, get ready because Bottoms is set to hit the big screen August 25.

Alex Becker

Written by Alex Becker

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