Michael Rubin was a Nerd Growing Up

There’s no proof of this, other than the fact that he used his money to invite every famous person in the United States of America to an all-white party at a mansion in the Hamptons. Fortunately for him, the all-white theme referred to attire, and not attendees, so he won’t be cancelled over this. That doesn’t stop this party from being undisputable evidence that Michael Rubin didn’t have friends growing up.

Michael Rubin is the CEO of Fanatics, and as a result he is stupid rich. Like, impulsively buy a boat on a Wednesday without batting an eye rich. He has used his wealth to place himself in the middle of a friend group that was seemingly built at the Oscar’s or the ESPY’s. He easily spent seven figures for his house to be used as a central location for the most famous friend groups in the country. Among the guests were Joe Burrow, Leonardo Dicaprio, Kim Kardashian, and anyone else you would imagine.

This feels like a movie where the calculus star throws a party when his parents go away to gather some interest from the head cheerleader. I have a feeling that it didn’t work for Rubin though. He probably used this as an opportunity to unsuccessfully apply to be Kim Kardashian’s next boyfriend. 

Seeing the pictures of Michael Rubin posing next to a group of NBA forwards made me sad. Rubin has earned his money and you would hope he could find a better way to spend it than buying the attention of a bunch of people who would’ve shoved him into a locker in high school. 

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Written by TFM

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