in

MMA Fighter Submits Alligator Outside an Elementary School

Florida’s version of Khabib Nurmagomedov just took a situation into his own hands outside of an elementary school, by wrestling and capturing a ten-foot alligator. The alligator showed up and the authorities were called, but they decided the man for the job was Mike Dragich. This man is not only an amateur MMA fighter, but also a licensed gator trapper. Basically, Dragich sits alone at the top of the food chain in Florida. That’s not even a joke. Dragich said the gator is going to be harvested and they will have one hell of a cookout as a result. 

I love hearing stories about human beings like this that have turned themselves into deadly weapons. I love the fact that a group of first responders saw the gator, and actually thought, “Not happening. Someone call Mike.” The alligator probably felt like a twelve-year-old who was excited to pitch in his little league game until he saw a six-foot-tall Dominican kid with a mustache in the opposite dugout. Mike Dragich seems like the type of guy who ruins the days of anyone who stands in his way, no matter what their species is.

I think this man should be crowned the king of Florida. His whole personality is beating up humans and alligators with a smile on his face. In a state filled with seemingly nothing but humans and alligators, he simply has no competition. As people screamed in fear at the sight of a magnificent beast on their kickball field, Dragich was pulling the sleeves off of his shirt so his fight looked a bit more cinematic. This guy just might be to Florida what Rocky is to Philadelphia, or what Aaron Rodgers is for guys going through a midlife crisis.

Avatar photo

Written by TFM

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

A Break-Up Letter to Bud Light

Monty Williams Hired by the Detroit Pistons in Largest Head Coaching Deal to Date