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Most Exciting Moments in a Friend Group

The First 21st

For what felt like an eternity, you spent the first three days of your week hitting up everybody you knew who was twenty-one or older just begging them to take a trip to the liquor store for you. Sure, your fake was passable at bars and some of the more relaxed beer distributors, but going to buy a handle was a risk no one in the group was willing to take. Then, one day, twenty-one years and nine months after his parents forgot to use a condom, your boy hits the big two-one, and he becomes your alcohol purchasing slave until the rest of the crew has reached that beautiful, wonderful age.

The First Wedding

Let’s preface this: I’m not talking about the first one of the boys that gets married. I’m talking about the first time that your group of friends can attend a wedding together. You’ll tell people, “Oh, the ceremony was nice. It was really cool to see,” but everyone with a tenth grade education knows that you went for the booze and the booze alone, which is what it should be. Getting dressed up and blacked out with the boys, surrounded by people you’ll never see again is a wonderful glimpse into adulthood without any of the “I have to wake up at 6am and commute an hour to work for a job that makes me want to throw myself down a flight of stairs” nonsense that most of the people there are dealing with.

An OnlyFans Discovery

The moment that a girl you knew in high school decides to make the jump to taking naked photos of herself and posting them on the internet for registered sex offenders to pay for is a momentous occasion. Paying for a girl’s OnlyFans would never be worth it, except for the fact that this isn’t an NPC smokeshow you stumbled across with a box of tissues next to you. This is someone you’ve met getting into porn. And it’s awesome.

The Last 21st

A whole different vibe from the first person to turn twenty-one, this is a celebration that you can finally stop house drinking and going to bars that are populated by kids that are graduating with your little sibling in a few months. As much as you’re celebrating your friend’s birthday, it’s more of a celebration that there’s no longer someone holding the group back from getting blacked out at a bar crawl before losing a collective $600 at the casino. Now you all have the freedom to empty your bank accounts buying drinks for girls that are going to take the freebie and walk away. What a wonderful feeling.

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Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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