There’s so much hate online these days. I don’t know why people choose to pile onto everything, when there are so many original things to be hating. Don’t get me wrong, hating on stuff is a great pastime. That being said, some things are way more fun to hate than others.
Children
If I believed the children were our future, I’d live in the present moment way more. Kids are so annoying. Somehow, these pesky little dorks have tricked the world into making their preferred adjective, cute. I think better adjectives are dumb, weak, emotional, high-maintenance, and especially annoying. If you hold children accountable to the social norms that apply to adults, you are labeled a hater. Either way, it’s really fun.
Taylor Swift
While I’m not talking to anyone specific, I’ll admit that I actually really enjoy Taylor Swift’s music. Her fans take all the fun out of it for everyone. Her fans talk to you about her music, excuse me, her art as if she’s the reincarnation of Michelangelo. I understand her draw, but the fact that men and women (but mostly women) of all ages talk about her with the passion your mom talks about Trader Joe’s. If you Swift bash in public, there is always one of her fans within ear shot to call you a misogynist, and I love that.
Grammar
I had a friend question me for using the term, “How much minutes,” this past weekend. Excuse me Alex, but was my question not absolutely clear? This is why it’s fun to hate grammar. If someone corrects you verbally, or over text, call them a grammar truther. Then tell them that the English language can’t put the way you speak into a box.
PETA
If their whole thing was supporting animals, I’d willingly be the jerk in the Derek Beavers vs. PETA debate. That being said, half of the time, these people are chastising people in the dairy aisle. Curb Your Enthusiasm has a brilliant, “cream-shaming,” episode that summarizes my views on the subject. Get off that high horse, and feed it an apple if you care about animals so much. In the meantime PETA should just delete their Twitter.
Chex-Mix
Why does Chex-Mix need to be four snacks? One snack is plenty of snack. I hate that
Anthony Rendon
This is the most fun thing on the planet to hate. This guy is basically stealing money, wins, and glory directly from Shohei Ohtani and Mike Trout with his abomination of a contract. If he retired, he’d never have to work another day in his life, and I’d stop whining about his contract on the internet.
