My 3 Least Favorite Types of People

People That Shit On Fat People In The Gym:

If you see a guy, maybe 315 pounds, sweating his ass off going on level three of the treadmill, and your response is to zoom in on Snapchat and send a video to your friends, you’re an asshole. That guy could easily be one of the psychopaths on the internet fawning over the fact that an obese person that’s two years away from losing a toe is on the cover of Vanity Fair with the word “healthy” in bold font, but no, they are choosing to improve themself. Maybe they just lost the job or girlfriend that’s been holding them back. Whatever the case is, if an overweight person is at the gym have some fucking decency. 

People That Live Without Nuance: 

I grew up watching my classmates stuffing their faces with freedom fries in a cafeteria as my parents fell more and more in love each day with a president that lied about weapons of mass destruction and a vice president that made billions of dollars, to then entering third grade with a guy who supported a genocide that is very much still going on in Yemen that people forget about because he did a photoshoot spinning a basketball, to being in early high school and watching a game show host break the brains of both sides of the political spectrum as one side felt the need to moderate freedom of speech, shit on the very people who’s job it is to protect their local communities, and spew more hatred via the internet than I have ever seen in my life in the name of tolerance as the other side got drunk on boat parades while blasting Cleerance Clearwater Revival music that’s lyrics in no way, shape, or form reflected their beliefs. And now, a dead person. A dead man. A guy that probably deserves three visits from his grandkids in a Florida nursing home a year is running the country. So maybe it’s time to get together and admit that none of us are perfect, and when we discuss people that don’t get paid much money to do some of the most important jobs in our communities, like cops or teachers, we can admit to one another that not every teacher is running Little Saint James in their classroom and not every cop is playing real-life GTA. Things are not black and white.

People that don’t like pickles: I fucking love pickles. Fuck you. 

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