the godfather
In today’s progressive society, anyone can identify as anything they’d like. The other day, I got a little tired of being an extremely fraternal man, so I decided to switch things up for a little while. And by “switch things up” I mean that I transferred down south and am currently going through the University of Alabama sorority rush process. I can’t say I’m fully adjusted to being a woman just yet, but I’m definitely getting there. In spite of all the dirty looks and transphobic slurs thrown my way, I had a fantastic time during the Philanthropy round. While I can’t go too in-depth just yet, I’ll do my best to recap my sorority rush experience so far.
Philanthropy Day 1:
My nerves ran wild this entire day. I could barely talk to hot sorority girls when I was a dude, so I initially thought that talking to them as a “woman” would be easier. Wrong. Trying to talk to females jacked up on enough energy drinks to put down a horse should be considered an extreme sport, in my opinion. I swear that every girl I talked to looked exactly the same and was either named “Grace” or “Emma”. Maybe a rare “Sophia” would pop up every now and then. I can’t say that I remember any of the conversations that I had – but I do remember smiling so intensely that my face felt as though it was going to melt off my skull by the end of the day. I think my favorite houses were based on which girls were the hottest, which could probably be attributed to my roots as a male. However, it seems like every girl does the same thing, so I’m not really sure where anybody’s values are truly at.
Philanthropy Day 2:
Day two of the Philanthropy round was incredibly difficult for me. I started off the day by making sure my outfit looked perfect (Nelk “Full Send” shirt and backward hat), but it didn’t seem like any of the girls appreciated it. When I walked into my first house of the day, I was immediately pulled into a side room by a couple of girls. In a different context, this would be a dream come true for a guy lady like myself. But, all the girls did was scream and yell at me for how “disgusting” I was. I knew that I maybe had some extra pounds to lose, but I didn’t think I fell into the disgusting range. However, I got the sense after a while that they weren’t talking about my body but rather about the fact that I was “born a male”. It goes without saying that I won’t have this house very high in my rankings come preference day.
Philanthropy Day 3:
I really had a great time learning about all the unique philanthropy causes that every sorority represented. Sure, half of them involved something with breast cancer, but it’s important that everyone knows to #savetheboobs. After the end of day three, I’m pretty sure I have a solid idea of which houses I really liked and which houses I really didn’t. At one house, I even met another guy (at least I thought it was a guy). Obviously, it’s too soon to know which sorority I’ll get to call my family at the end of all this, but I know for a fact that I’ll find my true home eventually. Or I’ll just transfer to [insert SEC school here].
I’ll continue to update you all on my experience as Bama rush continues. It’s not easy being the only dude here, but nothing worth doing was ever easy. If you’re looking to spice up your life, take the leap and sign up for sorority recruitment at your school. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
