NFL Roundup: Craziest 1 pm Slate of Games ever, The Cowboys Stink, The Chiefs Do Not

Football is officially back. The week one slate served up some great games, incredible plays, and bad beats. Let’s get into it. 

The 1 pm games were on crack:

We couldn’t have asked for a better early slate of games yesterday. The football gods delivered as 7 of the 10 early games ended within a score of each other. Baker and the Panthers almost got it done against his old team, but a 59-yard field goal by rookie kicker Cade York in the final seconds ended Baker’s revenge game. Again, the Falcons blew a double-digit lead, giving Jaboo Winston and the Saints some positive momentum going into the season. The Bears upset the Niners at home in conditions that can only be defined as a “glorified water slide”.

Joe Burrow was not that guy yesterday as he threw four (4!) picks against Pittsburg. The Steelers got it done in overtime and the Bengals are gonna have to make some adjustments if they want to make it back to the Super Bowl. The Eagles fought off a Lions comeback winning 38-35 as AJ Brown looks like a top ten receiver in his new home. The Ravens and the Dolphins both won easily yesterday, potentially shifting the power balance in the AFC East. On the other hand, the AFC South didn’t win a game yesterday, and two of the teams played each other. Is that bad?

Washington played a really solid game against an underrated Jacksonville team to get their first win as the Commanders (Comm town). The Giants also got it done on the road against the Titans in what was probably the best comeback yesterday. Whatever you think of New York, it’s good for the league to see Saqon playing in a healthy state. The Giants can thank him as he had over 150 yards and played a huge role in the W, matching the gutsy play calling by first-year head coach Brain Daboll. 

The Chiefs look amazing, Time for Concern in Green Bay:

The 4 pm games were not quite as good, but we still had some good moments. The Chiefs dominated the Cardinals in Arizona yesterday, winning 44-21 in a game that proved Patrick Mahomes is the best QB in the NFL right now. Kyler Murray made some bad mistakes and will not be allowed to play Call of Duty until Arizona wins. 

The Packers took a hard loss against Minnesota as HC Kevin O’Connel might be the new Sean Mcvay. Green Bay’s receivers have the hands of King Charles and couldn’t catch dick. The Chargers outplayed the Raiders yesterday, despite Davante Adams proving his skill with a QB besides Rodgers.

Dallas Gets embarrassed on SNF as Brady improves to 6-0 against Jerry Jones:

The Cowboys flat-out stunk last night. Let me rephrase, the Cowboy’s Offense stunk last night. Dak looked like he was seeing ghosts and may have been spooked by Chris Collinsworth’s frog voice. The defense played a great game against the greatest-NFL player- ever Tom Brady, holding him to 4 field goals and a touchdown in 5 red zone trips. If you keep a great offense to 19 points then your more than halfway there, only problem for Dallas is that they have an offense of 4th graders. On top of this, Dak broke his hand in the second half last night and won’t be back for at least 6 weeks. Dallas’s season may have ended before it started. It’s time to #fireMikeMcCarthy

Written by tfmdirtymike

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