Although Halloween night should be filled with excitement and joy, I can’t seem to focus on anything but the inhumane challenge that begins the next day. Yes, I’m talking about No Nut November. Each year, men are made to look like little children as they struggle to complete this daunting task. For thirty whole days, the mere sight of a tissue box or jar of vaseline can cripple even the strongest of wills, and it only gets worse as you get deeper into the month. If you can even make it to Thanksgiving, you should undoubtedly be awarded a medal of honor.
Each year, I tell myself that I can do it. Why do I insist on lying? I truly see no benefit. If one could measure school performance amongst males during November, I guarantee it will be significantly worse than the rest of the year. Maybe it won’t be entirely across the board, but I know for fact we all have had that one teacher that we focus on for any reason but actual school. Personally, I think this challenge should be abolished altogether, or just get rid of November completely. I mean, it’s practically just a filler month before Christmas that no one cares about anyways. But, for those who go on to attempt this insane feat, I wish you good luck on your journey that will most likely end with a wet dream or in a McDonald’s bathroom (don’t ask).