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Proper Frat Party Etiquette

As a Geed, It might be hard to understand the social complexity of a frat party. Here are some rules on how to properly behave yourself at the next classy event of a fraternity gathering.

  • The one brother you know at the party LOVES giving you free beer and being constantly called out front to let you and the 5 guys you brought into the party for free.
  • If it’s not said to you immediately when you enter the house, remember, you are a big deal at this party.
  • Drink as much as you can because your drunk actions are NOT your responsibility.
  • If the cops come, don’t worry, don’t listen to the brothers, and keep partying because you having a good time for one night is more important than anyone else’s legal wellbeing.
  • If you know one brother, you basically have as much power as the president so utilize it.
  • Everybody at a frat party is your friend, and you NEED to make sure they know that.
  • Every song played by the DJ was specifically chosen beforehand with YOU in mind.
  • Make yourself at home. You didn’t sign the lease or contribute in any way in the action of acquiring the house but, because you are at a party, you are allowed ANYWHERE in the house… regardless of what house guys tell you.
  • Every freshman girl is into you.
  • Furniture is for SEX ONLY.
  • If somebody doesn’t have a cigarette for you, that means they fucking hate you and you need to take it personally.
  • There is alcohol hidden somewhere in the house so start looking for it as soon as you enter the house.
  • Your 200 Instagram followers need to know that you are popular and at a party so record everything and put it on your story… your follows will thank you later.
  • Getting into fights with someone 20 pounds bigger than you right as you are leaving is required.
  • And last but not least, HAVE FUN!

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Written by Conall Lynch

Conall drinks vodka and chases it with a Granny Smith Apple. He likes to say “the mustache is just for content” but deep down wants to keep it.

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