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Proper Frat Party Etiquette

As a Geed, It might be hard to understand the social complexity of a frat party. Here are some rules on how to properly behave yourself at the next classy event of a fraternity gathering.

  • The one brother you know at the party LOVES giving you beer and being called out front to let you and the 5 guys you brought into the party for free.
  • If it’s not said to you immediately when you enter the house, remember, you are a big deal at this party.
  • Drink as much as you can because your drunk actions are NOT your responsibility.
  • If the cops come, don’t worry, don’t listen to the brothers, and keep partying because having a good time for one night is more important than anyone else’s legal wellbeing.
  • If you know one brother, you basically have as much power as the president so utilize it and make it known that you are in charge.
  • Everybody at a frat party is your best friend, and you need to make sure they know that.
  • Every bad song played by the DJ was specifically chosen beforehand with YOU in mind.
  • You can cut everyone in line for beer.
  • Make yourself at home. You didn’t sign the lease or contribute in any way in the action of acquiring the house but, because you are at the party, you are allowed ANYWHERE in the house… regardless of what house guys tell you.
  • Every freshman girl is into you.
  • If somebody doesn’t have a cigarette for you, that means they fucking hate you and you need to take it personally.
  • There is alcohol hidden somewhere in the house so start looking in every chair, cabinet and drawer as soon as you enter a new room.
  • Furniture is for SEX ONLY.
  • Your 213 instagram followers need to know that you are at a party and are therefore popular so record everything and put it on your story… your followers will thank you later.
  • Getting into fights with someone 20 pounds bigger than you as you leave is required.
  • And last but not least, HAVE FUN!

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Written by Conall Lynch

Conall drinks vodka and chases it with a Granny Smith Apple. He likes to say “the mustache is just for content” but deep down wants to keep it.

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