Nolan Breslin
Yes, I may be a full-grown adult, but last weekend, my 3 buds and I have had probably the greatest movie experience of our lifetime. When we bought tickets to the Super Mario Movie tripping absolute sack. Let me set the scene for you we get into the theater early and there’s no one there we pass out the tabs and wait for the bullshit ads for shitty movies that ill never see to finish. As soon as the opening scene plays me and the boys pop em and were off. Now these tabs were old and at least mine took about 30 to 45 minutes to kick in. But when they kicked in let me tell you it was a life-changing experience. I never thought I could get so invested in a linear story about Mario trying to get some princess peach gooch.
But by the end of the movie, I was damn near in tears. I did feel bad for the family of 4 sitting next to me watching a college-aged man be so invested in a movie about Mario jumping on turtles not knowing I’m majorly tripping. Now I will admit I took 2 tabs and I was soaring, but my boy sitting next to me took 4 and he was glued to his seat, mouth open just mesmerized by Bowser singing on screen. He described the Mario Movie as “a life-changing movie comparable to the godfather”. And while I will not go that far watching this movie tripping my ass off just made this movie one of the greatest pieces of cinema I’ve seen In the past decade.
My goal at least by the end of this week is to go back to the theater and watch this movie sober, or sober-ish, a few beers can’t hurt. But I want to at least see if this movie is as great as my degenerate ass remembers. It probably won’t be but I have hope that my boy Chris Pratt will make this movie as great as I remember it. In general, if you want to turn a certified children’s movie into a cinematic masterpiece, psychedelics are the best way to do it.
