It finally happened for me. For the first time since March 6th of 2020, I had a class in an actual classroom. Now some of you may have had those last year, but I didn’t. So, fuck off and let me say things because there are a few aspects I’d like to discuss.
One thing that I’ve learned in this whole pandy-wandy is that Zoom classes are much more conducive to my bathroom schedule than in-person classes are. When I was sprinting to make it to class on time today, I felt a small gurgle in the old tummy, and it proved to be a bit of an obstacle for me throughout the hour and fifteen-minute class. I did prefer Zoom for the purposes of me turning my camera and microphone off and taking a dump right in the middle of class.
Similar to the bathroom, Zoom classes fit my clothing style much better than in-person classes. It’s for the simple reason that I’d prefer to be naked in bed for a class than clothed sitting at a desk, but to each his own.
Look, masks blow, but there’s a legitimate benefit to having to wear them in class. As I said, I had to chug over to my class today, which means I may or may not have forgotten to brush my teeth. Now, in a situation in which I did not have to be masked, I would’ve turned around when I realized and just taken the L of being late. But these times aren’t normal, and I had to be masked for the entirety of my class, which means that no one else around me had any clue that was breathing out fumes of pesto from last night’s dinner.
Listen, I’m not saying that I live to be in a classroom “expanding my horizons” or whatever bullshit colleges say happens in classes, but I typically enjoy when I retain at least some of the information taught to me in a class. Today was the first time that I actually felt engaged in a class since COVID, and it wasn’t bad.
So, if you’re getting ready for in-person classes to start yourself, I’d say you can genuinely look forward to it. It sucks that you actually have to wake up and walk to class, but I’d say giving up pooping while still listening to class and being naked while your professor talks to you about the Spanish Inquisition of Latin America isn’t too much to give up in order to feel like a human being again. That’s all. I now have to go work on a short story for my creative writing class about a guy who really needs to poop.